The Etiquette of our wellbeing and how is your Mindfulness today? As we start a new year many of us think about ourselves, our destiny and our happiness and how possibly we can do things a little differently.
I am not big on new year’s resolutions, but I do try to improve my wellbeing as I have an over active mind which can literally leap, skip and jump out of control and as someone that is on observer and an evaluator and runs their business looking after me and the way I operate is of major importance.
I am a Virgo, if you subscribe to this kind of thing so I am a list person. For many years I have been a big fan of wellbeing, particularly spas as not only do I truly believe a good massage is a very natural way to fix and maintain our body but spas our one of those few places, if they are well run I can truly relax.
For the past few years I am now paying attention to my mind and learning ways to let go and combat and de-stress.
One of the interesting things about getting older is how often we talk with people that we thought “have it all” only to later to find out they have had major challenges, sometimes things they have kept secret for their whole lives.
So today I want to highlight 3 things that I have learnt from personal experience that has helped me.
Saying please and thank you and learning to say sorry.
Caring and being polite is hopefully how I have been brought up and is certainly a big part of Gentlemans Butler. I cannot get rid of my annoyance with the increasing litigious world in which we live where companies and individuals are almost trained never to say sorry, which in my experience often exacerbates the situation. I get a personal kick of putting a smile on someone’s face, often through some self-deprecation or a rather bad joke, particularly important when someone is doing a boring job or one they feel society does not value them. The interesting thing from a personal perspective is often this also makes us feel good and how our own worries dissipate, certainly for a while. Equally saying sorry, a word which I use relatively often can remove the burden from oneself, and though the issue might still need solving it has been taken from the mind and heart and brought into the open. I know some think they are too important or it degrades them but I feel it shows humility and humanity and ultimately maturity and integrity.
The simple rules of social etiquette are actually beautiful human qualities and I hope we try to retain some of these as actually all three of these phrases can be said using both verbal and non-verbal communication so not understanding someone’s language is no excuse.
To de-clutter & let go
I always remember a lovely comment my mother saying about marriage, particularly when people were concerned about letting go of their nicely organised lives, excuse my quip. She spoke about the fact that one part of her life was finishing but a wonderful new one was beginning. In admitting that some things were maybe no longer or less but a new and exciting feeling of togetherness was starting. The modern world has a habit of promising everything and as most people’s lives reflect everything is very rare and maybe everything is not everything the advertising billboards promise.
I have had to and wanted to clear out both physical and emotional clutter and to open up a simpler and a less suffocating existence which is partly why Gentlemans Butler started in the first place and why we search for excellence that just delivers on its promise. I like most people have too much stuff but the real life changing benefits are about the emotions and the ability to let go as much as the feeling of having less physical clutter weighing you down.
Giving the mind a rest ….Mindfulness
Begin by becoming more aware of your patterns and reactions. Be the non-judgemental observer of ‘you.’ Awareness leads to realisation about what we need to let go of and onto choosing something better. As I have mentioned I have had all sorts of therapies from acupuncture massage and over Christmas I trialled the www.headspace.com app on my phone which is something my NHS Doctor mentioned to me. I have to say I was rather impressed as it is well put together and easy to digest and starts to open up some simple ideas surrounding anxiety. I think this was my first real introduction to meditation as though I have been recommended this before, there was still I think a tad of prejudice within me. So this week in the spirit of discovery I saw my local church is running weekly meditation classes so yesterday I went in and I will return. I am not an overnight convert but it certainly worked enough for me to try more. We sat in a circle on chairs I should add and after a quick introduction a 5 minute piece of audio narrative was played after which 3 gongs went, our eyes closed, our back straight, our bodies still and our mind ….. well that’s for another time, but here is something to think about. You try sitting still with no phone, tv, computer or noise for 25 minutes … well it’s a very interesting exercise. This is not about espousing religious practices but about stopping physically but importantly mentally. I increasingly love my late afternoon slot where I have a mug of tea and cake … well !! and just stop with no noise …. Its bliss…